I study the back of his head. He is 24 years old.....would've been only 22 when the crime took place...barely an adult in my eyes. I can't help but admire the youthfulness of this young man. He's clean-shaven, assuming freshly showered, obediently sitting very still, hair as black as a shiny night sky and beautiful features that I'm sure his mother is proud of.
I also can't help but think --what if this was MY son? What would I say to him? What went wrong? Would I blame myself? Is there any excuse that would satisfy me?
I can hear the mother in me asking "At what point were you thinking that this was a good idea?" and "Were you hoping to not get caught and making this kind of thing a hobby?"
I've been seeing pictures of this young man in the media--lots of pictures. He seems to have it all..friends, family and good looks although some of the photos are taken in awkward situations where one doesn't expect a photo shoot....of course the media will focus on those!
This story is so very sad. I've been following the details of this murder tale over the course of the two years since it happened. It's a horrendous story that one might find in a fictitious book or Hollywood movie.
I watched the mom of the deceased little girl on the local TV station back in the fall of 2015 and my heart tore apart watching her speak to the media about her baby. I also couldn't help but think about the families of the deceased young father and the elderly woman whose lives were taken by the senselessness of the situation. The entire scenario is so very heartbreaking. There has been, and will continue to be, an incredible amount of mourning. I can't imagine what these people are experiencing!
And how about the accused's own family? My goodness...his father had to testify in court. The family must be angry and embarrassed to say the least. I don't know the family but I'm pretty sure he wasn't raised to think that murdering people was the right thing to do.
Normally I'm one to hear of a murder and I say to myself "Hang 'em high!" but sometimes I think differently. Maybe, this time, it was because I made a connection to him by being so physically close. Don't get me wrong...I think he should definitely pay for what he has done. In fact, he was sentenced just the day prior to the writing of this post, and he'll be serving 75 years in prison before he's eligible for parole. The evidence against him was overwhelming as one might guess.
While I was sitting in the courtroom that day, waiting for my jury number to be called, (which thankfully it wasn't) I had an overwhelming desire to talk to him as if he were my own son.
Motherhood has done this to me (and age). It has made me soft but it has also made me look at situations differently. When your son or daughter does something stupid, you want to find out why and keep an open mind. That doesn't mean you don't want them to pay for what they've done...you want them to make things right...if possible.
Unfortunately in this case, this young man won't be able to make things right. He's taken three lives away from their loved ones and there's no turning back time. His life is ruined.
For all the families involved, forgiveness will be hard, if not next to impossible. I've seen it done but not very often. I believe one must forgive in order to carry on but this would be the ultimate test.
I applaud the experts who study the way our brains work, how our personalities, behaviours, mental processes change to accommodate the situation.
I wish I could talk to his mom.
